Thursday, November 26, 2009

The Key to a Healthy Argument

Some say that when a relationship is all too dandy, there's something wrong. After a certain length in a relationship, there's gotta be one instance, or a couple instances in which the couple ticks each other off and then pride kicks in.

Although I'm not the biggest fan of arguments for it makes me sad, angry, and all those negative emotions, I do believe that an argument can contribute to a healthy relationship - you grow as a couple and you grow more appreciative of the person for sticking through when you're not in the prettiest persona.

Now this is not to say that you must now instigate one, but instead, think about how you may react if one were to ever occur, what kind of outcome would you like to see happen, and naturally, the way you handle the situation will often go the way you envisioned it.

Here are some things to keep in mind if/when an argument must occur:
  1. DO NOT ever name call - it's immature and hurtful
  2. DO NOT swear AT them, swearing should only be used to describe things if necessary
  3. If you feel like physically hurting them like (punching, kicking) or throwing objects at them, the first thing you need to do is, WALK AWAY AND CALM DOWN. Take a breather and think about things for a bit.
  4. DO NOT make absolute statements like you ALWAYS..., or you NEVER... It is often in an accusatory tone and will make the person very defensive
  5. Try not to raise your voice as both parties are constantly gonna try to talk over each other and then ... lots of yelling happens.
  6. A heated discussion may occur if there is a disagreement, but you can always talk about it in a respectful manner to reach a compromise.
  7. Confirmations that you love, care for, or respect the person usually eases up his or her nerves.
Have you ever found yourself in a predicament where you wish you handled it differently? Do you have any other suggestions that can reach a happy ending?

8 comments:

  1. Nice list. I especially agree with #2.
    I think I'm guilty of #4 though, hahah.

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  2. i love you and miss you. i wish i could apply your advice... to a real person. I decided I'll try to be in a relationship when I'm 22 but til then it'll be imaginary application of your advice. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

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  3. i tend to yell even if im having a normal convo, so you could imagine fights LOL

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  4. GOOD WORK WITH UR BLOG!

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  5. @Becky, I am still such an impatient person despite my list. I'll still raise my voice and feel like a victim

    @Charmaineli: I've got some single gal posts coming up, because you reminded me that I've been neglecting the majority of the population

    @Alex: I can't imagine you mad ... LOL trying trying trying and it's not working.

    @Tzoules: thank YOU!

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  6. I guess my arguments are different. They're mostly silent. I don't open up till a lot later and by then it's usually too late. He's already so upset that I haven't said anything about how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking that he gives up on trying to get me to talk. Things snowball from there. Pride is a huge issue with me and I think the thing that has helped the most is a rule that I don't let the sun go down when I'm angry. That is, though I may take the greater part of the day to resolve the issue, I don't ever let us go to bed upset. Oh and making the other person laugh helps too.

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  7. HAHAH im with meg, i read this out loud to her and she's uber embarassed for not doing 6/7 of the listed.. AHHA. fail.

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