Through the Rain

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You know that this person is worth your time when you guys get through the storm of difficulties and there still an overwhelming desire to still be with this person. Seeing so much of someone's great sides and then bad sides is not always an easy task nor is accepting all of it an easy one as well.

There are things that drive us crazy, and things that make us hurt and really wonder if it's worth it, sticking through everything. If it's the right one ... everything will be worth your while.

Sometimes the fundamental difference between things working out and not working out is about choice ... you decide what is worthy.

Happiness and love are just a choice away.
-- Leo F. Buscaglia

Forever

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What does that word mean anyway? It's just a word that describes the unfathomable concept of time that never ends. And yet, we say it for the sake of expressing our affinity for something or someone; we even use it to express how long we want something to last or not last.

I've always sat on the fence for this one. I want to be spontaneous but at the same time, I want to know what's ahead of me and plan accordingly. I want to know that this man is going to be there for me forever and fairytales spoil us in the way that we think that that's the way it's always going to be. I like hearing promises of forever.

At the same time though, we don't know what forever's like and it is virtually impossible to promise "ever after". Despite getting butterflies hearing the word forever, I am more critical of the word now.

Maybe promises should be made for today, or tomorrow, or the next little while. Or maybe promises shouldn't be made at all, but rather we should just live in the moment not worrying about the future. Getting through each day as it comes is sometimes good enough for now.

"They spoil every romance trying to make it last forever."
-- Oscar Wilde

What is your take on this? Agree/disagree?

Mr./Ms. Perfect

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Whether we realize it or not, in the midst of our search of "the one" we subtly find ourselves developing our list of criteria of what we want in the other - tall, short, dark, pale, thin, toned, ambitious, religious, not religious, etc. and the list really never ends.

That person must have to be the complete package - your checklist complete.

I beg to differ. The greatest thing about relationships is that no one is ever going to be that "perfect" person because you have the rest of your lives trying to build each other up, trying to be the best person you can be with your S.O. Your "perfections" and imperfections should complement each other well enough to attain a realization that this person is the best counterpart for you.

The search may take a bit longer than usual but for starters, how about throwing away that perfect list you have in your back pocket?

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You're not perfect, sport, and let me save you the suspense: this girl you've met, she's not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other.

--Sean in Good Will Hunting (1997)

Beautiful?

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I remember listening to a radio show a while back when they were talking about Kate Beckinsale. Now if you don't know what Kate Beckinsale looks like, you're missing out. She has a very cute, yet beautiful look to her and leaves me in a state of mixed jealousy and admiration.

Now the radio hosts were talking about how Kate described her relationship with her husband - she always dressed up beautifully for her husband and will always be wearing make-up for her husband because she insists that her love translates in her efforts to always look beautiful for her husband.

I kinda like the idea because it has good intentions but at the same time I don't find it realistic at all. I think that no matter what you look like, you should always appear beautiful in his eyes - whether you're made up or not, whether you're wearing sweats or you're wearing gowns.

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Now this is not to say that you should never maintain yourself because you're always going to look beautiful, but I just think that natural beauty shouldn't always be consumed by materialistic products. Visual enhancements tease the eye a little more and he should develop a deeper appreciation of your beauty each and everytime you make yourself up.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever:
Its loveliness increases;
It will never pass into nothingness

--John Keats

Agree/disagree? Comment! :)

Long Distance Relationship Survival

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There umteen amounts of articles and how-tos to make a long distance relationship work. There are step-by-steps and all-too-many suggestions on what to do to instil longevity in relationships.

Here are four suggestions that I found worked in my experience:

1. Choice: You make the choice to be with one another despite distance.
2. Communication: Phone calls, emails, messages, surprise visits really fill in the gaps in a relationship that distance now fills.
3. Free Time / Holidays: Take time out of your schedule and take time to regularly visit one another during weekends and holidays to catch up.
4. End Date: Decide when this long distance relationship is gonna end and when you guys will move to the same city, move-in, etc.

Message me or comment if you guys have any additional suggestions! :)

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Absence is to love as wind is to fire;
It extinguishes the small and kindles the great.

Roger de Bussy-Rabutin

Making It Official

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What constitutes as an "official" relationship, ladies and gents? I hear a lot of, "We're dating/seeing each other, but we're not official yet."

I used to think it was based solely on the condition that there would the "question" popped, similar to a proposal ... and maybe it still is, you tell me.

No longer are we in the era of traditional dating where the person you DO start dating would be your potential partner. No, we've suddenly moved on to this concept of "dealing" or "checking" with all the complications of ambiguity without THE question.

You would think that given the positive circumstances for example like, talking on the phone for hours, going on numerous dates on a regular basis you would kind of get the drift ... but I suppose there's a lack of trust...

HOWEVER, in my humble opinion, I feel that yes, while there may/could be the question popped ... I think it is OR should be rather, based on a mutual trust that the two parties are mutually on the same page of mutual exclusivity.

What do you guys think?

We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone, but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.

Walter Anderson

Already Complete

I share this quote with someone each and every time they feel inadequate or even feel alone because the truth is, nobody should ever feel like that.

I have it saved on my PC to look at if I ever have one of those downer days. Hope this brings as much comfort to you as it does for me!

Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are, doesn't mean you shine any less. Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out you can't be topped, doesn't stop you from being the very best. Just because no one has come along to share your life, doesn't mean that day isn't coming. Just because no one has made this race worthwhile, doesn't give you permission to stop running. Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level, doesn't mean you have to stink to theirs. Just because you deserve the very best there is, doesn't mean that life is always fair. Just because God is still preparing your king/queen, doesn't mean that you're not already a queen/king. Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now, doesn't mean you need to change a thing. Keep shining, keep running, keep hoping, keep praying, keep being exactly what you are already ... complete.

T.D. Jakes

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High Expectations

There may be exceptions to this, but this entry pertains to those of considerably legitimate relationships.

I am guilty of complaining because maybe sometimes I am a hopeless romantic. Every girl has her envisioned fairy tale and when some things don't go her way, well, dissatisfaction occurs and then complaining commences.

Do you ever wish that he/she would whisper sweet nothings in your ear more often? Do you ever wish he would do this or do that just because you like it? Do you have a certain standard that he/she has to live up to but somehow it doesn't ever seem to happen?

Well, I don't know how else to say it but ... here it is below... hope that gets you thinking.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you the best way they know how.

-Icon

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Love/Hate Relationships

When the honeymoon phase is over (first few months give or take), you begin to discover all the little flaws the other one has, the little quirks that completely bug you.

So how do you cope?

You begin to realize that, those little quirks are the things that make he/she who he/she is! Without them they would be an entirely different person ... you fell in love with that particular person, the one who has all the best and worst qualities.

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Maybe, just maybe, you'll even grow to love the little things that you used to hate. The way she is so meticulous and particular with everything? Or the way he has an opinion about everything?

Good luck lovin'!

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

- 10 Things I Hate About You

Best (Fe)Male Friend

In preschool, I remember having male and female friends.

In elementary school, members of the opposite sex suddenly had cooties.

In middle school, hormones kicked in and suddenly girls were trying to get the attention from the guys and vice versa.

In high school, some of us grew up a bit more and maybe, possibly disguised some immense admiration for one another by deeming each other "best friends." I remember having "best" guy friends in high school and some of them remain "best" or good friends to this day.

But what does being a best friend entail? Best friends usually involve being completely honest with each other, with the deepest darkest secrets divulged, sometimes even spending most of the time together... some best friends were referred to being conjoined at the hip, completely inseparable.

I told someone in tenth grade that I had a best friend that was a guy and he told me I couldn't really be best friends with a guy if I didn't like him, whatever that meant. I was completely convinced that I didn't like him, and I still am. He told me that maybe now you can be best friends with a member of the opposite sex but later on, it can definitely not work out if you're married to someone else.

I didn't understand then, I do now.

The person you develop an intimate relationship with, the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with,

should be your best friend.

Photo Credit: Static Romance

"I'm lucky to be in love with my best friend."
Jason Mraz

Your very First ...

Seeing that I have not indulged in the world of blogging, I thought it'd seem fitting that my first post here would touch on the oh-so-lovely idea of "your first _______". This would be my first post of an idea-centred blog, and I sincerely hope that this post would be your first of many reading occasions on my new blog. :)

I remember each and every (well, most) firsts I've had -

First day of preschool
First day of kindergarten
First day I could ride my bike
First days of many...

But the things that are most ingrained in my memory are probably my first kiss, my first crush, my first love (?) if that's even possible.

Like you, I'm still out to discover what this idea of 'love' means, what 'love' entails and requires of us, and how to go about having this 'love'.

First and foremost however, I feel like one of those defining moments, one of those "rites-of-passages" are ones when we have a sudden epiphany that someone special is near us. Oddly enough, we find ourselves thinking of them each and every day and we do everything in our power to get noticed and hope they feel the same way.

The firsts seem to always be so innocent, so fresh. Will we ever get to that point of naiveté once again? Possibly. But what I'm trying to get at is to never forget those first steps you took, the first kiss you had, the first crush you absolutely went ga-ga over.

These milestones establish your person that slowly unfolds and you'd be nothing without your first.

The First Kiss by Kim Anderson

A kiss that is never tasted
Is forever and ever wasted
--Billie Holiday