Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts

Monday, November 2, 2009

Taking Chances (Part 3)

Note: I had to omit some portions of the poem below because it was way too long. However, if you wish to read the whole entire poem click here.

I thought this poem was befitting to Taking Chances in Part 1 and Part 2. Despite my opposition to confessing (because most of the time intuition is your best bet) and jeopardizing friendships ... this poem seems to speak a lot of the internal contemplations of "should I?"'s and "what if"'s. If getting rid of emotional unrest at a potential expense of a friendship, then so be it.

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,
Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.


[...]

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare? and, “Do I dare?

[...]

Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.


[...]

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

[...]


And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.

[...]

T.S. Eliot

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Taking Chances (Part 2)

Photo Source
Alex made a comment referring to "the OC" ;)

So, as I was saying in Part 1, there is the rare case that a friendship-turned-relationship that could work out, however let's see SCENARIO B...

Boy and Girl are very good friends. They get along great, they hang out with the same group of friends, and hell, sometimes they're so comfortable around each other that they end up doing things one on one - like studying, shopping, etc. Boy begins to enjoy Girl's company so much that he begins to have thoughts of "what if" they went out. Girl is always on Boy's mind and Girl seems to be really nice. Girl's nice to everyone, she's fun, she's hyper, she can get along great with everyone. Boy thinks that there may be a possibility that Girl may feel the same way about Boy. Boy thinks of all the possibilities of the turn out of a possible confession - Girl feels the same way, or Girl doesn't ... and then their friendship will turn awkward. However, Boy decides to take a chance, because he really wanted to get it off his chest otherwise he'd still be wondering if she could feel the same way.


The confession of Boy finally happened with the Girl. Unfortunately, Girl did not feel the same way and continually stressed that she treats everyone the same way - with the same amount of niceness and attention. Their friendship became awkward and Girl really wondered why Boy would do such a thing to change their friendship. Boy said he really wanted to get it off his chest and let it out into the open. Girl wants to continue being friends but does not know how to without feeling like Boy is expecting something in return; she feels as if he is doing everything to try to get her to like him back. Girl decides to pretend as if nothing happened, but Boy seems to be getting more needy ...

Needless to say, Girl decides that closure is needed despite her love for their friendship. She feels that maybe as time passes,

"out of sight, out of mind"
would do the trick.

Okay, what do you guys think? Do you think "getting it off your chest" is a good idea?

I personally think that things should happen naturally, things come and go. If Girl liked Boy back, it would show without Boy needing to confess expecting something in return.

So no, I don't think some chances should be taken.

Agree/disagree? Have you ever found yourself in this situation? What happened and how did you handle it?
Italic

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Taking Chances (Part 1)

Disclaimer: This post is as per a conversation I had with a couple girlfriends recently.

While I am a firm believer in taking chances whenever you can in life so as to carpe diem, maybe there should be some exceptions.

Have you ever had a very good friend that you only regard as a good friend, have only considered them as a good friend, and would almost repulse you to think of them any more than a good friend? (Maybe repulse is too strong of a word, but let's just keep it there to get a point across).
Now, I did post before that it is difficult to maintain a friendship with a (fe)male friend when relationships start to make way into your life, but what I am trying to get at is another very good reason why some friendships can't work out.

As written from a female's perspective, I suppose some women can be cockteases, if not a majority of them. Some do it intentionally, and some are too naive to realize what they're doing. Some guys could appear to be a player, with the very same reasons as mentioned.

However, let's say this friendship takes a chance ... here's a scenario to illustrate my point.

SCENARIO A:
Boy and Girl are very good friends. They get along great, they hang out with the same group of friends, and hell, sometimes they're so comfortable around each other that they end up doing things one on one - like studying, shopping, etc. Girl begins to enjoy Boy's company so much that she begins to have thoughts of "what if" they went out. Girl begins to think of Boy so much that she realizes that she has developed more-than-friendship feelings about Boy... BUT she doesn't want to "ruin the friendship" so she stays quiet. HOWEVER, one day while Girl and Boy were studying together, Girl decided to bring up the possibility of "what if" she had feelings for Boy. Luckily enough, Boy had also developed feelings for Girl and the both of them discussed their options of whether or not to continue the friendship or move onto a relationship.


Now this would be an ideal situation and mind you, it COULD happen, but that isn't always the case.

Which brings us to...
My next post, later this week. :)

STAY TUNED for THE dreaded scenario as given by testimony!