Clubbing 101 (For the ladies)

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This is for all those single pringles - sorry I've been neglecting you.

This is obviously not the only way to meet people but somehow people opt for this setting because it's the easiest to meet people - when they're intoxicated... and well even if you don't admit it, when you go clubbing, you have a slight desire to meet someone whether or not you retain them as a friend or more than friends.

There are a few things to keep in mind when you're going clubbing, girls.

We all like to be complimented on how we look especially after the amount of time and effort put into "prettying" ourselves. Why? Because we enjoy looking pretty and being admired.

But, the way you dress says a lot about what kind of a person you want to meet. If you dress more skankily clad (ie. more revealing, tighter, shorter, lower, etc.), what you're saying to others is that you want a little sum'n sum'n. Thus the same guys who want a little sum'n sum'n will be naturally drawn to you whether they want to really get to know you or not. To say it bluntly, there are a lot of perverts out there and you're attracting all of them.

If you dress a little more classy, some people will notice that your attention will be a little harder to get and will then have to work for it. You might even find someone who genuinely does not want to get in your pants (at least not yet HAHA), and wants to get to know you. It's true, they're out there and if you want to hear my testimonial, comment!

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Also, I know that there are men out there that go to clubs with lots of cash ready to buy girls drinks in hopes of getting to their good sides or, to take advantage of them. Be careful who you get your drinks from (don't be greedy) and please don't manipulate the nice boys out there using the drink and dash method.
Well, there you have it... my input on what should be Clubbing 101 for all the beautiful ladies.

Stay tuned for my next post on what I think should be Clubbing 101 for the gentlemen.

The Key to a Healthy Argument

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Some say that when a relationship is all too dandy, there's something wrong. After a certain length in a relationship, there's gotta be one instance, or a couple instances in which the couple ticks each other off and then pride kicks in.

Although I'm not the biggest fan of arguments for it makes me sad, angry, and all those negative emotions, I do believe that an argument can contribute to a healthy relationship - you grow as a couple and you grow more appreciative of the person for sticking through when you're not in the prettiest persona.

Now this is not to say that you must now instigate one, but instead, think about how you may react if one were to ever occur, what kind of outcome would you like to see happen, and naturally, the way you handle the situation will often go the way you envisioned it.

Here are some things to keep in mind if/when an argument must occur:

1. DO NOT ever name call - it's immature and hurtful
2. DO NOT swear AT them, swearing should only be used to describe things if necessary
3. If you feel like physically hurting them like (punching, kicking) or throwing objects at them, the first thing you need to do is, WALK AWAY AND CALM DOWN. Take a breather and think about things for a bit.
4. DO NOT make absolute statements like you ALWAYS..., or you NEVER... It is often in an accusatory tone and will make the person very defensive
5. Try not to raise your voice as both parties are constantly gonna try to talk over each other and then ... lots of yelling happens.
   
6. A heated discussion may occur if there is a disagreement, but you can always talk about it in a respectful manner to reach a compromise.
7. Confirmations that you love, care for, or respect the person usually eases up his or her nerves.

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Have you ever found yourself in a predicament where you wish you handled it differently? Do you have any other suggestions that can reach a happy ending?

It Is Finished

***Note: the following is an assignment for a course.

Those may be the words of Jesus Christ himself, but will they be the final words that radio, television, and print in the near future?

Here's what I think...

Radio.

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A great invention in that it was created to communicate beyond distance with numerous people tuning in at the same time. I don't think radio will completely cease as we know it since there will be many traditionalists who love to hold on to things in its original forms. Sure, radio has taken different forms as we know it but nonetheless, it's still radio. Just... radio on demand, radio on the computer, radio where we get to pick and choose what we listen to. Sometimes, we just like to be our own DJ, but there are other times where we let others do the work for us. MySpace, Last.FM, and even YouTube are my favourite sites to discover new music on my own agenda.

Television.

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Something that started out with mere black and white pictures and evolved to what we now see in colour. Television was something that was a luxurious form of entertainment and now something that is accessible to many. I believe traditional television is definitely nearing its end and cable companies, advertisers, and the production companies will need to find alternative means to make money. MySoju, YouTube, and NinjaVideo are my favourite sites to watch the shows I can't always find on television when I need to and no longer will I need to record things.

Print.

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The idea of the end of print completely baffles me because I cannot imagine myself enjoying a simple novel without the physical pages to turn, "lying in a hammock, or a bathtub" - there's no way we can do that with a computer. Systems will always have a risk of crashing but books will never crash. However, I do believe that newspapers and magazines have huge competition with the Internet, especially with bloggers. I think printed books will always be around but in terms of news and real-time information, print's time may almost be up.

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Friend or Foe?

Rule of Seven

***Although I only barely make the cut (haha), forgive me if I may sound hypocritical.

And of course age is SOMETIMES just a number, and just because people grow old doesnt necessarily mean that they grow up.
But the for the sake of discussion, here we go.

Guys, the youngest girl you should date (for legal reasons and maturity reasons), is your age divided by two plus seven. For example, if you are 22 years of age, divide that by two (11), plus seven = 18. The youngest girl you should date is 18. Likewise, if you are 40, the youngest girl you should date is 27. It works out.

Girls, do the reverse process or the same process if you are a cougar. (hehe)

And this, my friends, is a rule for many reasons. If you are in high school, chances are, your maturity level compared to someone in elementary/middle school will not be compatible. If you are well on your way in university/college, same reasoning.

I suppose as we get older, the prospect pool gradually increases - lucky us who are aging. But please don't go lavishing in the ways of Hugh Hefner...

Anyway, happy hunting!

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Mr./Ms. Perfect

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Whether we realize it or not, in the midst of our search of "the one" we subtly find ourselves developing our list of criteria of what we want in the other - tall, short, dark, pale, thin, toned, ambitious, religious, not religious, etc. and the list really never ends.

That person must have to be the complete package - your checklist complete.

I beg to differ. The greatest thing about relationships is that no one is ever going to be that "perfect" person because you have the rest of your lives trying to build each other up, trying to be the best person you can be with your S.O. Your "perfections" and imperfections should complement each other well enough to attain a realization that this person is the best counterpart for you.

The search may take a bit longer than usual but for starters, how about throwing away that perfect list you have in your back pocket?

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You're not perfect, sport, and let me save you the suspense: this girl you've met, she's not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other.

--Sean in Good Will Hunting (1997)

Beautiful?

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I remember listening to a radio show a while back when they were talking about Kate Beckinsale. Now if you don't know what Kate Beckinsale looks like, you're missing out. She has a very cute, yet beautiful look to her and leaves me in a state of mixed jealousy and admiration.

Now the radio hosts were talking about how Kate described her relationship with her husband - she always dressed up beautifully for her husband and will always be wearing make-up for her husband because she insists that her love translates in her efforts to always look beautiful for her husband.

I kinda like the idea because it has good intentions but at the same time I don't find it realistic at all. I think that no matter what you look like, you should always appear beautiful in his eyes - whether you're made up or not, whether you're wearing sweats or you're wearing gowns.

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Now this is not to say that you should never maintain yourself because you're always going to look beautiful, but I just think that natural beauty shouldn't always be consumed by materialistic products. Visual enhancements tease the eye a little more and he should develop a deeper appreciation of your beauty each and everytime you make yourself up.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever:
Its loveliness increases;
It will never pass into nothingness

--John Keats

Agree/disagree? Comment! :)

Pros and Cons of Cohabitation

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I am a firm believer that cohabitation should only occur after an engagement and likewise, within a reasonable engagement period. Though sleepovers and "weekend cottages" may occur, it's not the same idea.

I read an article on CNN and I thought it was appropriately written. See for yourself here.

There are many instances when cohabitation does work out because the couple is intending to get married anyhow but many couples move-in together to test out the waters to see if they're "compatible" for marriage.

PROS
- after a year, you get placed under the corporate benefit plan of your S.O.
- cheaper rent
- less travel expenses
- less expenses in general
- you get to see him/her everyday

CONS
- you get sick of each other
- what if this person isn't the person that you want to be with? joint stuff gets messy
- living the married too young isn't always the way to go
- no more personal space

Do you agree/disagree?

Is He/She Passionate?

Is your significant other or prospective one not only passionate about the connection you two have between each other, but passionate about life as well? And everything that goes along with it?

This quality is probably one of the prerequisites I need in a person to be able to connect with them deeply. I don't know about you but I love it when guys can sing or play music in general.

Exhibit A: This absolutely melts my heart.

Exhibit B: Melting my heart time and time again.

And then there are other guys who are passionate about sports and are dam good at it.

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What about other intangible qualities like being passionate to save the world from its misery or something?

This may be inductive reasoning, and correct me if I'm wrong, but if he/she is not passionate about anything else, it will be very hard for he/she to be passionate about your relationship with him/her.

Interracial Relationships

Growing up in Toronto is probably one of the best things that could happen in your life (and London is slowly becoming like Toronto). I say this because there's so much going on and so much to see and best of all, it's the most diverse city in the world.

That being said, interracial relationships are becoming more common and more prevalent and you'd think that familes that immigrate here would begin to understand cultural mixing and not expect you to date those of the same "colour". However, sometimes that is not the case and parental influence is a huge part in making a relationship work.

Yes, while there are social preferences of how to get your S.O. integrated into your family, mainly standards set by your parents, I think there can be a compromise to change your parents' hearts if they are so against interracial relationships. (Sometimes I really hate the concept of "race" because while it may be an identity, it also socially and culturally divides us. :( but that's besides the point).

I do understand where the parents are coming from because sometimes they want to relate to their future in-laws more easily but it's such an aggravating experience trying to convince them. I have some suggestions on how to get on the parents' good sides, let me know if you think they may work!

• learn the basics of the language they speak
• learn to love the food they eat
• buy them culturally relevant gifts on occasion
• at the risk of rejection, relate on their level with their other interests
• convince them that you'll have drop dead gorgeous kids (haha)
  
• more???

Have you ever found yourself in an interracial relationship vs. your parents' preferences? Were your parents open to the idea or were they not? How did you cope?

This is yet another hilarious video by Wong Fu Productions on interracial couples - a different perspective but enjoy nonetheless!

How NOT to Pick Up (Part 3)

I shared the following link on my Facebook during the summer and generated a lot of acclaim and enough laughs - I am now sharing this on my blog for those who have not yet gotten a chance to be enlightened by this almost embarrassing situation...

Which, by the way, apparently occurs often with this culprit.

MUST LISTEN :)!

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The story is this: a girl was out with friends having drinks on King St (in Toronto ). This guy approaches her and won't leave her alone -saying how cute she is. She finally gives in and hands the guy her business card to get rid of him.
The attached is an MP3 file of not one, but TWO voicemails this guy left. This goes down in the history books - especially the second voice mail.
After hearing them you can clearly see why she didn't call him back - instead she called in to the Z103.5 morning show & had them play this on the air.

Source same as audio source

I think this audio basically sums up how NOT to pick up (as in, as long as you don't do what this guy did, maybe some will have a fighting chance heh).

Otherwise ...

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How NOT to Pick Up (Part 2)

You can read Part 1 here.
Now, this is more than a book review. If you want an extended, non-biased description you can go to Wikipedia.

I was at an Indigo/Chapters bookstore one day and I overheard some guys raving on about what a great book this was. I was curious and I decided to see what all the fuss was about. I picked it up, read a couple pages and was instantly mortified.

Mortified because I cannot believe this was a topseller book and mortified because I cannot believe that people would regard this as something that would enable a man to "pick-up".

Now, this book takes the form of a Christian Bible. You know, the leather (pleather) cover, with gold-edged pages and the red ribbon bookmark ... as to insinuate to guys that this is your go-to guide to pick up.

The author talks of supposed personal experiences and then gives a step by step on how to be the best pick-up artist.

There are so many things wrong with this picture.

1. You don't need to refer to a book to pick up. That's so ingenuine.
2. More often than not, they don't work for everyone. Maybe Neil Strauss just got lucky or he's imagining things.
3. If everyone followed the stages listed, all men would be the same - all pig-like robots.
   

If you want to know how NOT to pick up, the first thing to do is NOT think that this book could actually be for real.

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How NOT To Pick Up (Part 1)

I'm starting another series. This time, it's on how NOT to pick up a girl/guy and sadly, I may be putting a lot more pressure on the gentlemen here because traditionally, the man is always the one with the initiative.

I write about how NOT to pick up because frankly, giving instructions on how to pick up almost never works because it becomes so robotic and unnatural.

Below is a video made by Wong Fu Productions, an independent film production company started by UC San Diego graduates. I love this video because 1) it has a pretty cute and funny storyline and 2) portrays exaggerated forms of picking up but nonetheless gets the point across - how NOT to pick up.

Enjoy!

Long Distance Relationship Survival

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There umteen amounts of articles and how-tos to make a long distance relationship work. There are step-by-steps and all-too-many suggestions on what to do to instil longevity in relationships.

Here are four suggestions that I found worked in my experience:

1. Choice: You make the choice to be with one another despite distance.
2. Communication: Phone calls, emails, messages, surprise visits really fill in the gaps in a relationship that distance now fills.
3. Free Time / Holidays: Take time out of your schedule and take time to regularly visit one another during weekends and holidays to catch up.
4. End Date: Decide when this long distance relationship is gonna end and when you guys will move to the same city, move-in, etc.

Message me or comment if you guys have any additional suggestions! :)

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Absence is to love as wind is to fire;
It extinguishes the small and kindles the great.

Roger de Bussy-Rabutin

Taking Chances (Part 3)

Note: I had to omit some portions of the poem below because it was way too long. However, if you wish to read the whole entire poem click here.

I thought this poem was befitting to Taking Chances in Part 1 and Part 2. Despite my opposition to confessing (because most of the time intuition is your best bet) and jeopardizing friendships ... this poem seems to speak a lot of the internal contemplations of "should I?"'s and "what if"'s. If getting rid of emotional unrest at a potential expense of a friendship, then so be it.

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,
Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.

[...]

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare? and, “Do I dare?

[...]

Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

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[...]

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

[...]

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And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.

[...]

T.S. Eliot