Through the Rain

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You know that this person is worth your time when you guys get through the storm of difficulties and there still an overwhelming desire to still be with this person. Seeing so much of someone's great sides and then bad sides is not always an easy task nor is accepting all of it an easy one as well.

There are things that drive us crazy, and things that make us hurt and really wonder if it's worth it, sticking through everything. If it's the right one ... everything will be worth your while.

Sometimes the fundamental difference between things working out and not working out is about choice ... you decide what is worthy.

Happiness and love are just a choice away.
-- Leo F. Buscaglia

Clubbing 101 (for the gentlemen)

This is just my opinion and not any direct attack on your methods at a club.

Guys, clothing-wise I think it's fairly easy for you to look good. Simple stylish jeans with an ironed dress shirt, shaved face and some cologne will usually do the trick.

Now to get that girl's attention that you've been eyeing, please DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT just come up behind her when she's not looking and start bumpin' and grindin'. This will usually result in her running away and signalling for a cockblock from her friends. (Exceptions apply when the girl is absolutely drunk out of her mind and hormones are raging.)

I really can't stress the above point enough...

If a girl does not show any interest, please don't follow her and do the same thing as you were doing beforehand.

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(Toronto-Based show Keys to the VIP showcases guys whose ultimate goal is to get a number - if the girl doesn't show any interest in you, please leave her alone and move on.)

Having a wingman usually makes the situation less awkward and helps you not look creepy.

If you really hit it off with her, be a gentleman and offer her a drink.

Any other suggestions?

Clubbing 101 (For the ladies)

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This is for all those single pringles - sorry I've been neglecting you.

This is obviously not the only way to meet people but somehow people opt for this setting because it's the easiest to meet people - when they're intoxicated... and well even if you don't admit it, when you go clubbing, you have a slight desire to meet someone whether or not you retain them as a friend or more than friends.

There are a few things to keep in mind when you're going clubbing, girls.

We all like to be complimented on how we look especially after the amount of time and effort put into "prettying" ourselves. Why? Because we enjoy looking pretty and being admired.

But, the way you dress says a lot about what kind of a person you want to meet. If you dress more skankily clad (ie. more revealing, tighter, shorter, lower, etc.), what you're saying to others is that you want a little sum'n sum'n. Thus the same guys who want a little sum'n sum'n will be naturally drawn to you whether they want to really get to know you or not. To say it bluntly, there are a lot of perverts out there and you're attracting all of them.

If you dress a little more classy, some people will notice that your attention will be a little harder to get and will then have to work for it. You might even find someone who genuinely does not want to get in your pants (at least not yet HAHA), and wants to get to know you. It's true, they're out there and if you want to hear my testimonial, comment!

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Also, I know that there are men out there that go to clubs with lots of cash ready to buy girls drinks in hopes of getting to their good sides or, to take advantage of them. Be careful who you get your drinks from (don't be greedy) and please don't manipulate the nice boys out there using the drink and dash method.
Well, there you have it... my input on what should be Clubbing 101 for all the beautiful ladies.

Stay tuned for my next post on what I think should be Clubbing 101 for the gentlemen.

Rule of Seven

***Although I only barely make the cut (haha), forgive me if I may sound hypocritical.

And of course age is SOMETIMES just a number, and just because people grow old doesnt necessarily mean that they grow up.
But the for the sake of discussion, here we go.

Guys, the youngest girl you should date (for legal reasons and maturity reasons), is your age divided by two plus seven. For example, if you are 22 years of age, divide that by two (11), plus seven = 18. The youngest girl you should date is 18. Likewise, if you are 40, the youngest girl you should date is 27. It works out.

Girls, do the reverse process or the same process if you are a cougar. (hehe)

And this, my friends, is a rule for many reasons. If you are in high school, chances are, your maturity level compared to someone in elementary/middle school will not be compatible. If you are well on your way in university/college, same reasoning.

I suppose as we get older, the prospect pool gradually increases - lucky us who are aging. But please don't go lavishing in the ways of Hugh Hefner...

Anyway, happy hunting!

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Mr./Ms. Perfect

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Whether we realize it or not, in the midst of our search of "the one" we subtly find ourselves developing our list of criteria of what we want in the other - tall, short, dark, pale, thin, toned, ambitious, religious, not religious, etc. and the list really never ends.

That person must have to be the complete package - your checklist complete.

I beg to differ. The greatest thing about relationships is that no one is ever going to be that "perfect" person because you have the rest of your lives trying to build each other up, trying to be the best person you can be with your S.O. Your "perfections" and imperfections should complement each other well enough to attain a realization that this person is the best counterpart for you.

The search may take a bit longer than usual but for starters, how about throwing away that perfect list you have in your back pocket?

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You're not perfect, sport, and let me save you the suspense: this girl you've met, she's not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other.

--Sean in Good Will Hunting (1997)

Is He/She Passionate?

Is your significant other or prospective one not only passionate about the connection you two have between each other, but passionate about life as well? And everything that goes along with it?

This quality is probably one of the prerequisites I need in a person to be able to connect with them deeply. I don't know about you but I love it when guys can sing or play music in general.

Exhibit A: This absolutely melts my heart.

Exhibit B: Melting my heart time and time again.

And then there are other guys who are passionate about sports and are dam good at it.

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What about other intangible qualities like being passionate to save the world from its misery or something?

This may be inductive reasoning, and correct me if I'm wrong, but if he/she is not passionate about anything else, it will be very hard for he/she to be passionate about your relationship with him/her.

How NOT To Pick Up (Part 1)

I'm starting another series. This time, it's on how NOT to pick up a girl/guy and sadly, I may be putting a lot more pressure on the gentlemen here because traditionally, the man is always the one with the initiative.

I write about how NOT to pick up because frankly, giving instructions on how to pick up almost never works because it becomes so robotic and unnatural.

Below is a video made by Wong Fu Productions, an independent film production company started by UC San Diego graduates. I love this video because 1) it has a pretty cute and funny storyline and 2) portrays exaggerated forms of picking up but nonetheless gets the point across - how NOT to pick up.

Enjoy!

Making It Official

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What constitutes as an "official" relationship, ladies and gents? I hear a lot of, "We're dating/seeing each other, but we're not official yet."

I used to think it was based solely on the condition that there would the "question" popped, similar to a proposal ... and maybe it still is, you tell me.

No longer are we in the era of traditional dating where the person you DO start dating would be your potential partner. No, we've suddenly moved on to this concept of "dealing" or "checking" with all the complications of ambiguity without THE question.

You would think that given the positive circumstances for example like, talking on the phone for hours, going on numerous dates on a regular basis you would kind of get the drift ... but I suppose there's a lack of trust...

HOWEVER, in my humble opinion, I feel that yes, while there may/could be the question popped ... I think it is OR should be rather, based on a mutual trust that the two parties are mutually on the same page of mutual exclusivity.

What do you guys think?

We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone, but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.

Walter Anderson

The Undomestic Goddess

Yes, the title is in reference to Sophie Kinsella's The Undomestic Goddess. (Good book, recommended read!)

But that's besides the point.

What I'm trying to get at is, after going to university I've realized how ... undomesticated many women are, namely me. My mom used to scold me about how if I didn't step my game up in cooking and cleaning, I'd never marry ...

And now is the time when I realize that mommas really know best.

Here are some of the observations I've made to come to the conclusion that ... women are growing more and more undomesticated (there are exceptions, of course, as with everything else).

• The guys on my floor in first-year residence had cleaner rooms than the so-called ladies on our floor, mine included.
• The guys I know how to cook tastier meals
• They also cook more
• They're more efficient at I guess... all the domestic things that we, women should be efficient at.

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Are women at a loss? Would you still date them and take care of them if they weren't as domesticated as what the traditional household demands?

Why do you think for some the tables have turned?

A Family Affair

A saying something along the lines of quotes this: 'If you marry a person, you marry the family as well."

Would you agree?

Anyway, I polled my readers this past week on how long they usually wait until they would introduce their significant other to their parents.

10% voted when they start dating
50% voted within a few months
30% voted within half a year
10% voted never.

While there isn't one appropriate time to introduce your special one to the family, you should have the intention to do so eventually.

I know there's all this talk about how "love is enough"... to an extent, yes. But somehow, if they're not involved with your family in any way (and vice versa), a chance at longevity is slim to none.

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BOOTY CALL!

Various definitions of the colloquial term can be found at Urban Dictionary.

I'm not saying ALL late night calls can automatically be categorized into a not-so-lovely idea of "dating", but for the most part, if you find a man/woman calls you late at night in such a pattern just to "hang out" or "just to see you" ... sirens should be going off

LOUD.

Don't make excuses for his/her behaviour because they're always "busy"... if he/she wanted to see you, they'll make time for you...

at a proper, respectable time.

Just a thought. Some people have to learn the hard way.

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