Through the Rain

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You know that this person is worth your time when you guys get through the storm of difficulties and there still an overwhelming desire to still be with this person. Seeing so much of someone's great sides and then bad sides is not always an easy task nor is accepting all of it an easy one as well.

There are things that drive us crazy, and things that make us hurt and really wonder if it's worth it, sticking through everything. If it's the right one ... everything will be worth your while.

Sometimes the fundamental difference between things working out and not working out is about choice ... you decide what is worthy.

Happiness and love are just a choice away.
-- Leo F. Buscaglia

Forever

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What does that word mean anyway? It's just a word that describes the unfathomable concept of time that never ends. And yet, we say it for the sake of expressing our affinity for something or someone; we even use it to express how long we want something to last or not last.

I've always sat on the fence for this one. I want to be spontaneous but at the same time, I want to know what's ahead of me and plan accordingly. I want to know that this man is going to be there for me forever and fairytales spoil us in the way that we think that that's the way it's always going to be. I like hearing promises of forever.

At the same time though, we don't know what forever's like and it is virtually impossible to promise "ever after". Despite getting butterflies hearing the word forever, I am more critical of the word now.

Maybe promises should be made for today, or tomorrow, or the next little while. Or maybe promises shouldn't be made at all, but rather we should just live in the moment not worrying about the future. Getting through each day as it comes is sometimes good enough for now.

"They spoil every romance trying to make it last forever."
-- Oscar Wilde

What is your take on this? Agree/disagree?

Phone Obsession

Have you ever found yourself sitting by the phone waiting in anticipation for him or her to call? Maybe it's this cute guy you met randomly who asked for your number. Or maybe it's your girlfriend who calls almost everyday and today it seems out of rhythm. Maybe it's your ex who you long to hear from. Whoever it is, stop doing it.

I, myself, am still guilty of staring at my phone waiting for it to vibrate or some red light to go off. I figure it's time to find a new attachment. There's no use sitting by the phone, if it rings, it rings. If it doesn't, we move on or we determine the moves.

The Key to a Healthy Argument

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Some say that when a relationship is all too dandy, there's something wrong. After a certain length in a relationship, there's gotta be one instance, or a couple instances in which the couple ticks each other off and then pride kicks in.

Although I'm not the biggest fan of arguments for it makes me sad, angry, and all those negative emotions, I do believe that an argument can contribute to a healthy relationship - you grow as a couple and you grow more appreciative of the person for sticking through when you're not in the prettiest persona.

Now this is not to say that you must now instigate one, but instead, think about how you may react if one were to ever occur, what kind of outcome would you like to see happen, and naturally, the way you handle the situation will often go the way you envisioned it.

Here are some things to keep in mind if/when an argument must occur:

1. DO NOT ever name call - it's immature and hurtful
2. DO NOT swear AT them, swearing should only be used to describe things if necessary
3. If you feel like physically hurting them like (punching, kicking) or throwing objects at them, the first thing you need to do is, WALK AWAY AND CALM DOWN. Take a breather and think about things for a bit.
4. DO NOT make absolute statements like you ALWAYS..., or you NEVER... It is often in an accusatory tone and will make the person very defensive
5. Try not to raise your voice as both parties are constantly gonna try to talk over each other and then ... lots of yelling happens.
   
6. A heated discussion may occur if there is a disagreement, but you can always talk about it in a respectful manner to reach a compromise.
7. Confirmations that you love, care for, or respect the person usually eases up his or her nerves.

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Have you ever found yourself in a predicament where you wish you handled it differently? Do you have any other suggestions that can reach a happy ending?

Rule of Seven

***Although I only barely make the cut (haha), forgive me if I may sound hypocritical.

And of course age is SOMETIMES just a number, and just because people grow old doesnt necessarily mean that they grow up.
But the for the sake of discussion, here we go.

Guys, the youngest girl you should date (for legal reasons and maturity reasons), is your age divided by two plus seven. For example, if you are 22 years of age, divide that by two (11), plus seven = 18. The youngest girl you should date is 18. Likewise, if you are 40, the youngest girl you should date is 27. It works out.

Girls, do the reverse process or the same process if you are a cougar. (hehe)

And this, my friends, is a rule for many reasons. If you are in high school, chances are, your maturity level compared to someone in elementary/middle school will not be compatible. If you are well on your way in university/college, same reasoning.

I suppose as we get older, the prospect pool gradually increases - lucky us who are aging. But please don't go lavishing in the ways of Hugh Hefner...

Anyway, happy hunting!

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Pros and Cons of Cohabitation

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I am a firm believer that cohabitation should only occur after an engagement and likewise, within a reasonable engagement period. Though sleepovers and "weekend cottages" may occur, it's not the same idea.

I read an article on CNN and I thought it was appropriately written. See for yourself here.

There are many instances when cohabitation does work out because the couple is intending to get married anyhow but many couples move-in together to test out the waters to see if they're "compatible" for marriage.

PROS
- after a year, you get placed under the corporate benefit plan of your S.O.
- cheaper rent
- less travel expenses
- less expenses in general
- you get to see him/her everyday

CONS
- you get sick of each other
- what if this person isn't the person that you want to be with? joint stuff gets messy
- living the married too young isn't always the way to go
- no more personal space

Do you agree/disagree?

Is He/She Passionate?

Is your significant other or prospective one not only passionate about the connection you two have between each other, but passionate about life as well? And everything that goes along with it?

This quality is probably one of the prerequisites I need in a person to be able to connect with them deeply. I don't know about you but I love it when guys can sing or play music in general.

Exhibit A: This absolutely melts my heart.

Exhibit B: Melting my heart time and time again.

And then there are other guys who are passionate about sports and are dam good at it.

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What about other intangible qualities like being passionate to save the world from its misery or something?

This may be inductive reasoning, and correct me if I'm wrong, but if he/she is not passionate about anything else, it will be very hard for he/she to be passionate about your relationship with him/her.

Long Distance Relationship Survival

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There umteen amounts of articles and how-tos to make a long distance relationship work. There are step-by-steps and all-too-many suggestions on what to do to instil longevity in relationships.

Here are four suggestions that I found worked in my experience:

1. Choice: You make the choice to be with one another despite distance.
2. Communication: Phone calls, emails, messages, surprise visits really fill in the gaps in a relationship that distance now fills.
3. Free Time / Holidays: Take time out of your schedule and take time to regularly visit one another during weekends and holidays to catch up.
4. End Date: Decide when this long distance relationship is gonna end and when you guys will move to the same city, move-in, etc.

Message me or comment if you guys have any additional suggestions! :)

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Absence is to love as wind is to fire;
It extinguishes the small and kindles the great.

Roger de Bussy-Rabutin

The Undomestic Goddess

Yes, the title is in reference to Sophie Kinsella's The Undomestic Goddess. (Good book, recommended read!)

But that's besides the point.

What I'm trying to get at is, after going to university I've realized how ... undomesticated many women are, namely me. My mom used to scold me about how if I didn't step my game up in cooking and cleaning, I'd never marry ...

And now is the time when I realize that mommas really know best.

Here are some of the observations I've made to come to the conclusion that ... women are growing more and more undomesticated (there are exceptions, of course, as with everything else).

• The guys on my floor in first-year residence had cleaner rooms than the so-called ladies on our floor, mine included.
• The guys I know how to cook tastier meals
• They also cook more
• They're more efficient at I guess... all the domestic things that we, women should be efficient at.

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Are women at a loss? Would you still date them and take care of them if they weren't as domesticated as what the traditional household demands?

Why do you think for some the tables have turned?