Clubbing 101 (for the gentlemen)

This is just my opinion and not any direct attack on your methods at a club.

Guys, clothing-wise I think it's fairly easy for you to look good. Simple stylish jeans with an ironed dress shirt, shaved face and some cologne will usually do the trick.

Now to get that girl's attention that you've been eyeing, please DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT just come up behind her when she's not looking and start bumpin' and grindin'. This will usually result in her running away and signalling for a cockblock from her friends. (Exceptions apply when the girl is absolutely drunk out of her mind and hormones are raging.)

I really can't stress the above point enough...

If a girl does not show any interest, please don't follow her and do the same thing as you were doing beforehand.

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(Toronto-Based show Keys to the VIP showcases guys whose ultimate goal is to get a number - if the girl doesn't show any interest in you, please leave her alone and move on.)

Having a wingman usually makes the situation less awkward and helps you not look creepy.

If you really hit it off with her, be a gentleman and offer her a drink.

Any other suggestions?

Clubbing 101 (For the ladies)

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This is for all those single pringles - sorry I've been neglecting you.

This is obviously not the only way to meet people but somehow people opt for this setting because it's the easiest to meet people - when they're intoxicated... and well even if you don't admit it, when you go clubbing, you have a slight desire to meet someone whether or not you retain them as a friend or more than friends.

There are a few things to keep in mind when you're going clubbing, girls.

We all like to be complimented on how we look especially after the amount of time and effort put into "prettying" ourselves. Why? Because we enjoy looking pretty and being admired.

But, the way you dress says a lot about what kind of a person you want to meet. If you dress more skankily clad (ie. more revealing, tighter, shorter, lower, etc.), what you're saying to others is that you want a little sum'n sum'n. Thus the same guys who want a little sum'n sum'n will be naturally drawn to you whether they want to really get to know you or not. To say it bluntly, there are a lot of perverts out there and you're attracting all of them.

If you dress a little more classy, some people will notice that your attention will be a little harder to get and will then have to work for it. You might even find someone who genuinely does not want to get in your pants (at least not yet HAHA), and wants to get to know you. It's true, they're out there and if you want to hear my testimonial, comment!

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Also, I know that there are men out there that go to clubs with lots of cash ready to buy girls drinks in hopes of getting to their good sides or, to take advantage of them. Be careful who you get your drinks from (don't be greedy) and please don't manipulate the nice boys out there using the drink and dash method.
Well, there you have it... my input on what should be Clubbing 101 for all the beautiful ladies.

Stay tuned for my next post on what I think should be Clubbing 101 for the gentlemen.

Rule of Seven

***Although I only barely make the cut (haha), forgive me if I may sound hypocritical.

And of course age is SOMETIMES just a number, and just because people grow old doesnt necessarily mean that they grow up.
But the for the sake of discussion, here we go.

Guys, the youngest girl you should date (for legal reasons and maturity reasons), is your age divided by two plus seven. For example, if you are 22 years of age, divide that by two (11), plus seven = 18. The youngest girl you should date is 18. Likewise, if you are 40, the youngest girl you should date is 27. It works out.

Girls, do the reverse process or the same process if you are a cougar. (hehe)

And this, my friends, is a rule for many reasons. If you are in high school, chances are, your maturity level compared to someone in elementary/middle school will not be compatible. If you are well on your way in university/college, same reasoning.

I suppose as we get older, the prospect pool gradually increases - lucky us who are aging. But please don't go lavishing in the ways of Hugh Hefner...

Anyway, happy hunting!

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How NOT To Pick Up (Part 1)

I'm starting another series. This time, it's on how NOT to pick up a girl/guy and sadly, I may be putting a lot more pressure on the gentlemen here because traditionally, the man is always the one with the initiative.

I write about how NOT to pick up because frankly, giving instructions on how to pick up almost never works because it becomes so robotic and unnatural.

Below is a video made by Wong Fu Productions, an independent film production company started by UC San Diego graduates. I love this video because 1) it has a pretty cute and funny storyline and 2) portrays exaggerated forms of picking up but nonetheless gets the point across - how NOT to pick up.

Enjoy!

Taking Chances (Part 3)

Note: I had to omit some portions of the poem below because it was way too long. However, if you wish to read the whole entire poem click here.

I thought this poem was befitting to Taking Chances in Part 1 and Part 2. Despite my opposition to confessing (because most of the time intuition is your best bet) and jeopardizing friendships ... this poem seems to speak a lot of the internal contemplations of "should I?"'s and "what if"'s. If getting rid of emotional unrest at a potential expense of a friendship, then so be it.

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,
Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.

[...]

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare? and, “Do I dare?

[...]

Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

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[...]

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

[...]

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And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.

[...]

T.S. Eliot

Taking Chances (Part 2)

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Alex made a comment referring to "the OC" ;)

So, as I was saying in Part 1, there is the rare case that a friendship-turned-relationship that could work out, however let's see SCENARIO B...

Boy and Girl are very good friends. They get along great, they hang out with the same group of friends, and hell, sometimes they're so comfortable around each other that they end up doing things one on one - like studying, shopping, etc. Boy begins to enjoy Girl's company so much that he begins to have thoughts of "what if" they went out. Girl is always on Boy's mind and Girl seems to be really nice. Girl's nice to everyone, she's fun, she's hyper, she can get along great with everyone. Boy thinks that there may be a possibility that Girl may feel the same way about Boy. Boy thinks of all the possibilities of the turn out of a possible confession - Girl feels the same way, or Girl doesn't ... and then their friendship will turn awkward. However, Boy decides to take a chance, because he really wanted to get it off his chest otherwise he'd still be wondering if she could feel the same way.

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The confession of Boy finally happened with the Girl. Unfortunately, Girl did not feel the same way and continually stressed that she treats everyone the same way - with the same amount of niceness and attention. Their friendship became awkward and Girl really wondered why Boy would do such a thing to change their friendship. Boy said he really wanted to get it off his chest and let it out into the open. Girl wants to continue being friends but does not know how to without feeling like Boy is expecting something in return; she feels as if he is doing everything to try to get her to like him back. Girl decides to pretend as if nothing happened, but Boy seems to be getting more needy ...

Needless to say, Girl decides that closure is needed despite her love for their friendship. She feels that maybe as time passes,

"out of sight, out of mind"

would do the trick.

Okay, what do you guys think? Do you think "getting it off your chest" is a good idea?

I personally think that things should happen naturally, things come and go. If Girl liked Boy back, it would show without Boy needing to confess expecting something in return.

So no, I don't think some chances should be taken.

Agree/disagree? Have you ever found yourself in this situation? What happened and how did you handle it?

Taking Chances (Part 1)

Disclaimer: This post is as per a conversation I had with a couple girlfriends recently.

While I am a firm believer in taking chances whenever you can in life so as to carpe diem, maybe there should be some exceptions.

Have you ever had a very good friend that you only regard as a good friend, have only considered them as a good friend, and would almost repulse you to think of them any more than a good friend? (Maybe repulse is too strong of a word, but let's just keep it there to get a point across).

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Now, I did post before that it is difficult to maintain a friendship with a (fe)male friend when relationships start to make way into your life, but what I am trying to get at is another very good reason why some friendships can't work out.

As written from a female's perspective, I suppose some women can be cockteases, if not a majority of them. Some do it intentionally, and some are too naive to realize what they're doing. Some guys could appear to be a player, with the very same reasons as mentioned.

However, let's say this friendship takes a chance ... here's a scenario to illustrate my point.

SCENARIO A:
Boy and Girl are very good friends. They get along great, they hang out with the same group of friends, and hell, sometimes they're so comfortable around each other that they end up doing things one on one - like studying, shopping, etc. Girl begins to enjoy Boy's company so much that she begins to have thoughts of "what if" they went out. Girl begins to think of Boy so much that she realizes that she has developed more-than-friendship feelings about Boy... BUT she doesn't want to "ruin the friendship" so she stays quiet. HOWEVER, one day while Girl and Boy were studying together, Girl decided to bring up the possibility of "what if" she had feelings for Boy. Luckily enough, Boy had also developed feelings for Girl and the both of them discussed their options of whether or not to continue the friendship or move onto a relationship.

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Now this would be an ideal situation and mind you, it COULD happen, but that isn't always the case.

Which brings us to...
My next post, later this week. :)

STAY TUNED for THE dreaded scenario as given by testimony!

Best (Fe)Male Friend

In preschool, I remember having male and female friends.

In elementary school, members of the opposite sex suddenly had cooties.

In middle school, hormones kicked in and suddenly girls were trying to get the attention from the guys and vice versa.

In high school, some of us grew up a bit more and maybe, possibly disguised some immense admiration for one another by deeming each other "best friends." I remember having "best" guy friends in high school and some of them remain "best" or good friends to this day.

But what does being a best friend entail? Best friends usually involve being completely honest with each other, with the deepest darkest secrets divulged, sometimes even spending most of the time together... some best friends were referred to being conjoined at the hip, completely inseparable.

I told someone in tenth grade that I had a best friend that was a guy and he told me I couldn't really be best friends with a guy if I didn't like him, whatever that meant. I was completely convinced that I didn't like him, and I still am. He told me that maybe now you can be best friends with a member of the opposite sex but later on, it can definitely not work out if you're married to someone else.

I didn't understand then, I do now.

The person you develop an intimate relationship with, the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with,

should be your best friend.

Photo Credit: Static Romance

"I'm lucky to be in love with my best friend."
Jason Mraz