Through the Rain

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You know that this person is worth your time when you guys get through the storm of difficulties and there still an overwhelming desire to still be with this person. Seeing so much of someone's great sides and then bad sides is not always an easy task nor is accepting all of it an easy one as well.

There are things that drive us crazy, and things that make us hurt and really wonder if it's worth it, sticking through everything. If it's the right one ... everything will be worth your while.

Sometimes the fundamental difference between things working out and not working out is about choice ... you decide what is worthy.

Happiness and love are just a choice away.
-- Leo F. Buscaglia

Forever

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What does that word mean anyway? It's just a word that describes the unfathomable concept of time that never ends. And yet, we say it for the sake of expressing our affinity for something or someone; we even use it to express how long we want something to last or not last.

I've always sat on the fence for this one. I want to be spontaneous but at the same time, I want to know what's ahead of me and plan accordingly. I want to know that this man is going to be there for me forever and fairytales spoil us in the way that we think that that's the way it's always going to be. I like hearing promises of forever.

At the same time though, we don't know what forever's like and it is virtually impossible to promise "ever after". Despite getting butterflies hearing the word forever, I am more critical of the word now.

Maybe promises should be made for today, or tomorrow, or the next little while. Or maybe promises shouldn't be made at all, but rather we should just live in the moment not worrying about the future. Getting through each day as it comes is sometimes good enough for now.

"They spoil every romance trying to make it last forever."
-- Oscar Wilde

What is your take on this? Agree/disagree?

The Key to a Healthy Argument

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Some say that when a relationship is all too dandy, there's something wrong. After a certain length in a relationship, there's gotta be one instance, or a couple instances in which the couple ticks each other off and then pride kicks in.

Although I'm not the biggest fan of arguments for it makes me sad, angry, and all those negative emotions, I do believe that an argument can contribute to a healthy relationship - you grow as a couple and you grow more appreciative of the person for sticking through when you're not in the prettiest persona.

Now this is not to say that you must now instigate one, but instead, think about how you may react if one were to ever occur, what kind of outcome would you like to see happen, and naturally, the way you handle the situation will often go the way you envisioned it.

Here are some things to keep in mind if/when an argument must occur:

1. DO NOT ever name call - it's immature and hurtful
2. DO NOT swear AT them, swearing should only be used to describe things if necessary
3. If you feel like physically hurting them like (punching, kicking) or throwing objects at them, the first thing you need to do is, WALK AWAY AND CALM DOWN. Take a breather and think about things for a bit.
4. DO NOT make absolute statements like you ALWAYS..., or you NEVER... It is often in an accusatory tone and will make the person very defensive
5. Try not to raise your voice as both parties are constantly gonna try to talk over each other and then ... lots of yelling happens.
   
6. A heated discussion may occur if there is a disagreement, but you can always talk about it in a respectful manner to reach a compromise.
7. Confirmations that you love, care for, or respect the person usually eases up his or her nerves.

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Have you ever found yourself in a predicament where you wish you handled it differently? Do you have any other suggestions that can reach a happy ending?

Long Distance Relationship Survival

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There umteen amounts of articles and how-tos to make a long distance relationship work. There are step-by-steps and all-too-many suggestions on what to do to instil longevity in relationships.

Here are four suggestions that I found worked in my experience:

1. Choice: You make the choice to be with one another despite distance.
2. Communication: Phone calls, emails, messages, surprise visits really fill in the gaps in a relationship that distance now fills.
3. Free Time / Holidays: Take time out of your schedule and take time to regularly visit one another during weekends and holidays to catch up.
4. End Date: Decide when this long distance relationship is gonna end and when you guys will move to the same city, move-in, etc.

Message me or comment if you guys have any additional suggestions! :)

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Absence is to love as wind is to fire;
It extinguishes the small and kindles the great.

Roger de Bussy-Rabutin

High Expectations (cont.)

Stuart suggested I do a FIVE reasons why we girls and guys should be satisfied with our partner, even if they aren't as 'romantical' (hehe) as Edward Cullen from Twilight.

1. Movies and novels are fictional for a reason. Enough said.
2. You wouldn't want people to take pointers from movies anyways. (re: Prince Charming?)
3. There are so many things that go on in our daily lives that some people don't have time to concoct love potions or draft a crazy plan to make you fall in love with them each and everyday.
4. Everyone loves and cares for someone in their own way. If everyone did or said the same things a fictional vampire would do, it would be too predictable and there would be no spunk in a relationship.
5. When you check out the Five Love Languages, you will look at your relationship differently and finally, be satisfied.
   

High Expectations

There may be exceptions to this, but this entry pertains to those of considerably legitimate relationships.

I am guilty of complaining because maybe sometimes I am a hopeless romantic. Every girl has her envisioned fairy tale and when some things don't go her way, well, dissatisfaction occurs and then complaining commences.

Do you ever wish that he/she would whisper sweet nothings in your ear more often? Do you ever wish he would do this or do that just because you like it? Do you have a certain standard that he/she has to live up to but somehow it doesn't ever seem to happen?

Well, I don't know how else to say it but ... here it is below... hope that gets you thinking.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you the best way they know how.

-Icon

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Love/Hate Relationships

When the honeymoon phase is over (first few months give or take), you begin to discover all the little flaws the other one has, the little quirks that completely bug you.

So how do you cope?

You begin to realize that, those little quirks are the things that make he/she who he/she is! Without them they would be an entirely different person ... you fell in love with that particular person, the one who has all the best and worst qualities.

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Maybe, just maybe, you'll even grow to love the little things that you used to hate. The way she is so meticulous and particular with everything? Or the way he has an opinion about everything?

Good luck lovin'!

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

- 10 Things I Hate About You

Your very First ...

Seeing that I have not indulged in the world of blogging, I thought it'd seem fitting that my first post here would touch on the oh-so-lovely idea of "your first _______". This would be my first post of an idea-centred blog, and I sincerely hope that this post would be your first of many reading occasions on my new blog. :)

I remember each and every (well, most) firsts I've had -

First day of preschool
First day of kindergarten
First day I could ride my bike
First days of many...

But the things that are most ingrained in my memory are probably my first kiss, my first crush, my first love (?) if that's even possible.

Like you, I'm still out to discover what this idea of 'love' means, what 'love' entails and requires of us, and how to go about having this 'love'.

First and foremost however, I feel like one of those defining moments, one of those "rites-of-passages" are ones when we have a sudden epiphany that someone special is near us. Oddly enough, we find ourselves thinking of them each and every day and we do everything in our power to get noticed and hope they feel the same way.

The firsts seem to always be so innocent, so fresh. Will we ever get to that point of naiveté once again? Possibly. But what I'm trying to get at is to never forget those first steps you took, the first kiss you had, the first crush you absolutely went ga-ga over.

These milestones establish your person that slowly unfolds and you'd be nothing without your first.

The First Kiss by Kim Anderson

A kiss that is never tasted
Is forever and ever wasted
--Billie Holiday