Through the Rain

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You know that this person is worth your time when you guys get through the storm of difficulties and there still an overwhelming desire to still be with this person. Seeing so much of someone's great sides and then bad sides is not always an easy task nor is accepting all of it an easy one as well.

There are things that drive us crazy, and things that make us hurt and really wonder if it's worth it, sticking through everything. If it's the right one ... everything will be worth your while.

Sometimes the fundamental difference between things working out and not working out is about choice ... you decide what is worthy.

Happiness and love are just a choice away.
-- Leo F. Buscaglia

Forever

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What does that word mean anyway? It's just a word that describes the unfathomable concept of time that never ends. And yet, we say it for the sake of expressing our affinity for something or someone; we even use it to express how long we want something to last or not last.

I've always sat on the fence for this one. I want to be spontaneous but at the same time, I want to know what's ahead of me and plan accordingly. I want to know that this man is going to be there for me forever and fairytales spoil us in the way that we think that that's the way it's always going to be. I like hearing promises of forever.

At the same time though, we don't know what forever's like and it is virtually impossible to promise "ever after". Despite getting butterflies hearing the word forever, I am more critical of the word now.

Maybe promises should be made for today, or tomorrow, or the next little while. Or maybe promises shouldn't be made at all, but rather we should just live in the moment not worrying about the future. Getting through each day as it comes is sometimes good enough for now.

"They spoil every romance trying to make it last forever."
-- Oscar Wilde

What is your take on this? Agree/disagree?

The Key to a Healthy Argument

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Some say that when a relationship is all too dandy, there's something wrong. After a certain length in a relationship, there's gotta be one instance, or a couple instances in which the couple ticks each other off and then pride kicks in.

Although I'm not the biggest fan of arguments for it makes me sad, angry, and all those negative emotions, I do believe that an argument can contribute to a healthy relationship - you grow as a couple and you grow more appreciative of the person for sticking through when you're not in the prettiest persona.

Now this is not to say that you must now instigate one, but instead, think about how you may react if one were to ever occur, what kind of outcome would you like to see happen, and naturally, the way you handle the situation will often go the way you envisioned it.

Here are some things to keep in mind if/when an argument must occur:

1. DO NOT ever name call - it's immature and hurtful
2. DO NOT swear AT them, swearing should only be used to describe things if necessary
3. If you feel like physically hurting them like (punching, kicking) or throwing objects at them, the first thing you need to do is, WALK AWAY AND CALM DOWN. Take a breather and think about things for a bit.
4. DO NOT make absolute statements like you ALWAYS..., or you NEVER... It is often in an accusatory tone and will make the person very defensive
5. Try not to raise your voice as both parties are constantly gonna try to talk over each other and then ... lots of yelling happens.
   
6. A heated discussion may occur if there is a disagreement, but you can always talk about it in a respectful manner to reach a compromise.
7. Confirmations that you love, care for, or respect the person usually eases up his or her nerves.

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Have you ever found yourself in a predicament where you wish you handled it differently? Do you have any other suggestions that can reach a happy ending?

Rule of Seven

***Although I only barely make the cut (haha), forgive me if I may sound hypocritical.

And of course age is SOMETIMES just a number, and just because people grow old doesnt necessarily mean that they grow up.
But the for the sake of discussion, here we go.

Guys, the youngest girl you should date (for legal reasons and maturity reasons), is your age divided by two plus seven. For example, if you are 22 years of age, divide that by two (11), plus seven = 18. The youngest girl you should date is 18. Likewise, if you are 40, the youngest girl you should date is 27. It works out.

Girls, do the reverse process or the same process if you are a cougar. (hehe)

And this, my friends, is a rule for many reasons. If you are in high school, chances are, your maturity level compared to someone in elementary/middle school will not be compatible. If you are well on your way in university/college, same reasoning.

I suppose as we get older, the prospect pool gradually increases - lucky us who are aging. But please don't go lavishing in the ways of Hugh Hefner...

Anyway, happy hunting!

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Mr./Ms. Perfect

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Whether we realize it or not, in the midst of our search of "the one" we subtly find ourselves developing our list of criteria of what we want in the other - tall, short, dark, pale, thin, toned, ambitious, religious, not religious, etc. and the list really never ends.

That person must have to be the complete package - your checklist complete.

I beg to differ. The greatest thing about relationships is that no one is ever going to be that "perfect" person because you have the rest of your lives trying to build each other up, trying to be the best person you can be with your S.O. Your "perfections" and imperfections should complement each other well enough to attain a realization that this person is the best counterpart for you.

The search may take a bit longer than usual but for starters, how about throwing away that perfect list you have in your back pocket?

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You're not perfect, sport, and let me save you the suspense: this girl you've met, she's not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other.

--Sean in Good Will Hunting (1997)

Beautiful?

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I remember listening to a radio show a while back when they were talking about Kate Beckinsale. Now if you don't know what Kate Beckinsale looks like, you're missing out. She has a very cute, yet beautiful look to her and leaves me in a state of mixed jealousy and admiration.

Now the radio hosts were talking about how Kate described her relationship with her husband - she always dressed up beautifully for her husband and will always be wearing make-up for her husband because she insists that her love translates in her efforts to always look beautiful for her husband.

I kinda like the idea because it has good intentions but at the same time I don't find it realistic at all. I think that no matter what you look like, you should always appear beautiful in his eyes - whether you're made up or not, whether you're wearing sweats or you're wearing gowns.

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Now this is not to say that you should never maintain yourself because you're always going to look beautiful, but I just think that natural beauty shouldn't always be consumed by materialistic products. Visual enhancements tease the eye a little more and he should develop a deeper appreciation of your beauty each and everytime you make yourself up.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever:
Its loveliness increases;
It will never pass into nothingness

--John Keats

Agree/disagree? Comment! :)

Pros and Cons of Cohabitation

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I am a firm believer that cohabitation should only occur after an engagement and likewise, within a reasonable engagement period. Though sleepovers and "weekend cottages" may occur, it's not the same idea.

I read an article on CNN and I thought it was appropriately written. See for yourself here.

There are many instances when cohabitation does work out because the couple is intending to get married anyhow but many couples move-in together to test out the waters to see if they're "compatible" for marriage.

PROS
- after a year, you get placed under the corporate benefit plan of your S.O.
- cheaper rent
- less travel expenses
- less expenses in general
- you get to see him/her everyday

CONS
- you get sick of each other
- what if this person isn't the person that you want to be with? joint stuff gets messy
- living the married too young isn't always the way to go
- no more personal space

Do you agree/disagree?

Is He/She Passionate?

Is your significant other or prospective one not only passionate about the connection you two have between each other, but passionate about life as well? And everything that goes along with it?

This quality is probably one of the prerequisites I need in a person to be able to connect with them deeply. I don't know about you but I love it when guys can sing or play music in general.

Exhibit A: This absolutely melts my heart.

Exhibit B: Melting my heart time and time again.

And then there are other guys who are passionate about sports and are dam good at it.

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What about other intangible qualities like being passionate to save the world from its misery or something?

This may be inductive reasoning, and correct me if I'm wrong, but if he/she is not passionate about anything else, it will be very hard for he/she to be passionate about your relationship with him/her.

Making It Official

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What constitutes as an "official" relationship, ladies and gents? I hear a lot of, "We're dating/seeing each other, but we're not official yet."

I used to think it was based solely on the condition that there would the "question" popped, similar to a proposal ... and maybe it still is, you tell me.

No longer are we in the era of traditional dating where the person you DO start dating would be your potential partner. No, we've suddenly moved on to this concept of "dealing" or "checking" with all the complications of ambiguity without THE question.

You would think that given the positive circumstances for example like, talking on the phone for hours, going on numerous dates on a regular basis you would kind of get the drift ... but I suppose there's a lack of trust...

HOWEVER, in my humble opinion, I feel that yes, while there may/could be the question popped ... I think it is OR should be rather, based on a mutual trust that the two parties are mutually on the same page of mutual exclusivity.

What do you guys think?

We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone, but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.

Walter Anderson

Prince Charming?

I may only be able to speak for myself on this one but do let me know what you think!

I love fairy tales - I love reading about them, hearing about them, watching movies/shows come up with the most amazing love story ever ... and there are real stories that you hear about from your friends where he/she and their girlfriend/boyfriend shared this most amazing experience or moment. A common phrase heard is "It was like a scene from a movie!"

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All of that sounds amazing and I'm not a cynic but I've had one of these supposed movie moments happen and it wasn't like the movies at all. The movies made it look sweet, but in fact, this experience was quite awkward and I can almost say it makes me cringe just a little...

And then I wonder, do people believe in movies/shows too much to believe that some stuff could actually happen in reality, like a knight in shining armor sweeping his damsel in distress off of her feet?

Because movies/shows are 99% fictional, I would suggest you guys NOT to take pointers nor try to relive movie moments ... sweet/romantic moments should come from the heart, and almost naturally...

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